Relay for Life

Last night at about 6pm I packed up my backpack with a sleeping bag, candy, swimsuit, and my cape and headed over to my friend Kristen's apartment. I also brought a homemade chocolate cake I had made up the night before. From Kristen's we drove to the Student Rec Center on campus to participate in a 12 hour Relay for Life event. Relay for Life is an American Cancer Society sponsored fundraising event for cancer research. Teams spend a couple of months fundraising and then we walk around the track for a 12 hours. The only requirement is that each time has at least one person on the track at all times. Our team was the largest with 24 members so we had a pretty easy time meeting that goal. Our Relay for Life event at CSU had about 40 teams, over 400 participants and we raised over $25,000 dollars! It was an awesome experience and I had so much fun. I stayed the whole night, some people came in shifts, but I did not walk the whole time! I walked for about three hours to start out and then for another hour or so over the rest of the night. We closed up at 8 am this morning with a lot less energy than we had the night before.
I decided to join my friend's Relay for Life team in memory of my cousin, Andy Bouwens, who lost his fight to cancer three years ago. It was uplifting to see such a wide array of people coming together for one cause and work extremely hard to support research for the cure for cancer. When Andy was battling cancer I found myself realizing the importance of living for today. Recently I had forgotten that but my Relay for Life event refreshed my belief in living in the moment. After listening to some of the survivor stories last night, you realize that you never know what direction life might take and how important it is to live in the moment and not so much for tomorrow. You can miss a lot of things that go on around you if you get to focused on the future. I am thankful for all that I have, frustrated by the stuff I have been going through, but I am going to live day by day and take pleasure in the small things. It can be hard to accept you don't have control on a lot of things but once you do you can start really living.
The rest of my Saturday was spent laying around, watching movies and doing some homework. It was nice to relax but I also missed home a lot today. Only 19 more days though, so I know I can make it. Anyways, I just wanted to share my unique experience for this week.

Note to self: Embrace this moment and each moment after.

Stay Strong

Today I got the most wonderful card in the mail from my mom. She knows me so well and has always been there for me. The card had the most amazing message that I think everyone should hear. So I decided to put it here so in case anyone else is going through a hard time or just needs a reminder that they are special, it is here!

I send you this card with a smile and a hug. Your wings may be a little damaged now, but you can still fly. You can still touch the sky. You can still make a rainbow. You're hurt, but you can still dream. You can still try. Through all of this, never forget what a special person you are.
As you dodge these curve balls that are coming at you now, don't let anyone take away your hope, get you down, or make you give up. While you face these problems that touch the land mines in your soul, don't let them steal your power.
Stay strong, encouraged, and hopeful. Know that you are special and you are loved.
Refresh your spirit with the lessons you've learned. This is just a passage you're going through. You know your heart. You know who you are. There will be answers. Just be patient. Be satisfied with doing the best you can. When you're down, don't stay there. And never, never forget what a special person you are.
- Donna Fargo

I thought that this was so beautiful and so true. My mom is my hero and I hope that I can be like her one day.

Note to self:Always remember what a special person you are.

I Need Home

Bad day. Not much to say about it except for sucky! I am counting down the days until I can head for home and happiness. 24 days, not much longer to get through. The saying is true, when it rains it POURS!

Note to self: Avoid the lonely company of old memories.

Rainy Day

Today has been a cold and rainy day but thankfully it has stopped snowing. Yesterday we had sort of a blizzard in Colorado but Fort Collins got mostly rain. It flooded so much here that the dip in the lawn outside my apartment flooded and two ducks came and swam around in it all morning. That was a cheery sight for me to wake up to. Animals remind us of the simple joys in life and make it hard not to smile at their silly antics. Speaking of that, Henry is probably the best at making me smile. Hamsters do funny things all the time so if anyone needs a pick me up, I'd recommend going out and getting a hamster.

So I've spent some time thinking about friendships and what friendship means. Friends are there to add to your life, not subtract from it. This is unfortunately the situation I have found myself in for the past year, people I call friends subtracting from my life. Think of Super Mario 64 (oh Justin would be so proud) and recall how your health is a pie chart. Well, it is like I was running into one of those bomb things over and over, each time subtracting my health in little pie pieces. So I first ask how did I end up here? Well, easy. In a desperate attempt to make friends with people that had things in common with me I allowed myself to be shaped as easily as a piece of clay. This is your classic example of the "queen bee" mentality so accurately detailed in the movie "Mean Girls". Now you might say that is is a high school phenomenon and perhaps I should have already outgrown this phase by the time I reached college. This is not the case for me because I had no experience with such a vicious social system during high school. I thought that I had avoided such a common practice but that was me counting my eggs before they hatched! In retrospect it is easy to see how and why everything went so wrong. Hindsight is always 20/20, but the beauty is that now you can see it coming in the future. Don't let others manipulate your thoughts and actions. I did and I lost my voice and my self amongst a variety of other things. Quick side note, this is not an effort to throw a pity party for myself, I've done that enough recently. Basically I have come to realize the healing power of writing, something I thought that I would never enjoy. So I take the time to put down some thoughts that have been helpful to me. It is important to take care of you and what defines you. Others need to tell you that you are wrong to define themselves, don't allow that to happen. Don't be afraid to go against the norm, especially when you feel wrong following the norm. Take an active part in defining who you are and if you don't know who you are yet, be sure not to let others decide it for you. No one has the right to determine what defines you.

Well, that is probably enough inspirational writing for everyone. Beware, I may have random posts of inspiration in the future. :) This rainy day was a good one after all, one healing rain drop at a time.

Note to self: Define yourself by your thoughts and actions, not others.

Hawaii

It is about time I get my Hawaii pictures out where everyone can see them. Too much studying to do this week to write much, but wanted to share my spring break in pictures.

The ocean was so pretty and the weather was so warm!

Here I am with a giant crack in the ground. We went to the Volcano National Park and hiked across an old lava flow and into an old lava tube. Pretty neat!

Here is Tyler and HIS giant crack! :)

Yay, the ocean didn't claim me. This was right after I got dominated by a wave, sad day for Kara.

Mom and I parasailing! We are coming in to land on the boat after about a 10 minute flight.

Dad and Tyler taking off, Tyler got his butt wet!

One of my favorite parts of the trip was going to the sea horse farm. It was pretty neat and this little guys are so curious!

I even got to hold a sea horse. Here is Kara, the person, holding Kara, the sea horse!

In honor of my experience at the sea horse farm I got a henna tattoo of a sea horse! It was neat but unfortunately it is now gone. :(

Well that is the condensed version of our Hawaii trip in picture form! Now off to more studying, what a bummer week I have!

Note to self: Better late than never!

Look what I got!

I needed something warm and fuzzy to keep me company these last few weeks, so today Lauren convinced me to go out and buy a hamster! His name is Henry VIII and he is a Robo Dwarf Hamster. He is very active and cute but hard to hold sometimes. Here are a few pictures of the friendly little guy. Finally something feels right.



Note to self: Lauren can be a bad influence.

My first...

Yikes,am I really going to do this?! I guess I can give this blogging thing a try. I blame Rita, she invited me to her blog and now I have spent the last hour fiddling with my own. But everyone needs a good distraction every now and then, I tend to take my fair share almost every day.

Today was like, well, every other Wednesday. Between school and school, I have more school. I am not complaining though, I like staying busy. The weather today was very nice and got up to 70 degrees. I decided that such nice weather called for a good bike ride. Right as I was starting out I fell in behind another rider and instead of turning around where I normally do, I kept following him. Maybe not the smartest idea since I didn't know the road but I figured eventually I could make my way back to something familiar or at least turn around. I was delighted to find that his path was just a giant loop around my apartment, so I ended back where I started but a little more tired. I want to race in the Fireweed 400 this year with my dad so I need to start training. He wants me to do the 200 race with a relay of other ladies but I wanted to try the solo 50 mile race first. After today's ride of 14 miles I might have to reconsider, that is a lot less than 50! However, I felt really good after the ride so maybe I'll make it!

I have been reading this wonderful book called Note to Self (hence the title of my blog). It is a collection of stories by 30 different women on hardships and heartbreaks. Sounds uplifting, I know! It is really about overcoming all of life's troubles and each story ends with a small note to self that reflects on the story. I thought it was a clever idea and thank goodness I saw the book sitting on my shelf or I would still be thinking of a title. :)

Well there you have it, my first blog. It rambles and is really about nothing but if you have reached this far then I guess it was at least entertaining. Now time for bed.

Note to self: Take a chance, they often pay off.